Even though I haven’t given up my heels or sense of style (as discussed in I Still Rap In My Leather Pants), I have surrendered to practicality. I’ve fully delved into the once unimaginable stereotypes of parenthood. In other words, I’ve become that trademark of motherhood I thought I’d never be. Easy Spirits with a pencil skirt? Check. Minivan? Check. Leashes for kids? Not a check but BRILLIANT. It’s amazing how one’s perspective, priorities, and judgments change when one becomes a parent.
Another possible theory for my change in perspective is the mommy hazing I experienced. This rite of passage into motherhood included bodily fluids to the eye and arms, Crayola murals on the wall, and screeching protests in the grocery store. It broke me down – but then built me back up again. It was almost like my baby’s ploy to build my character. And it worked.
When I was in college, I recall seeing moms driving in their minivans with disheveled hair, baggy shirts, and yoga pants. I laughed at how little these women seem to care about how they looked to everyone else. I laughed because I had no perspective. I laughed because I was an insecure young lady. Then, I became a mother and was subjected to that mommy hazing. It helped me develop the confidence I needed to no longer care what other people think. Looking like I got dressed blindfolded means little to me today. Maybe the hazing had nothing to do with it… maybe I found my confidence on day one of being a mom. Seriously, when I think about it, what could be more empowering and ego-boosting than pushing out a human from your lady-part?
Now that I’ve opened my can of shameless cliches, I admit there are more. For example, in the summertime, I look like a powdered doughnut. Layering on the thickest, nonabsorbing sunscreen SPF 5000 keeps me from burning to a crisp, and allows me the delusion of a wrinkle-free face for just a few more years. To top it all off, I throw on a flap hat and my overlarge sunglasses. Yes, world, I’ve become that mom. How liberating it feels to be able to say- “I don’t give a crap.” Ohhh how times have changed.
As for my future? Well, I’m one step closer to hair rollers. Perhaps you’ll spot them one day while I’m soccer mom-ing in my minivan.